Who are you?

Your authentic self. Authenticity. What does that mean for us at Authentes? The definition would say:

AuthenticTrue to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.

But where does authenticity sit? Is it in the past? Did you past create your Authentic self? Is it in the future? Is your Authentic self the person you would like to become? Or is it in the now? Is Authenticity the person you are today? Does or can your Authentic self change? A lot of questions that we all continue to struggle with.

I heard someone say the following: “If you are not defined by a vision of your future, then you are left with old memories of the past and you will be predictable in your life.”And then I realized that your Authentic self is all of the above. Your past self, your self in this moment, and your future self. It is up to us to choose to which Authentic self we want to connect.

So many of our client come in with the same questions. I am stuck. I do not know who I am, or what I want to do anymore. Or I know what I want to do, but I am unable to get started. And in almost all cases, people are stuck because they are programmed to live their same life over and over again based on what their past is telling them. They leave their job only to find themselves in a similar job after they quit. They leave their relationship, only to find themselves in a similar relationship soon after. Why is that? Because we tend to live the life of our past authentic self, and not our desired authentic self. Our unconscious mind keeps doing everything possible to keep us in that safe place. The place we know. The place we are used to.

The only way out is hard work. Hard work to identify the patterns you are in. Identify the beliefs you have. Identify circumstances that trigger certain thoughts, followed by emotions, feelings, actions and most of the time unwanted results.

We help you break through that cycle.  We help you connect to your desired authentic self. The authentic self who has the energy to become truly remarkable!


3 Acting techniques to upgrade your next presentation

 

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than delivering the eulogy.” - Jerry Seinfeld

We have all been there. In fact, it is estimated that 75% of people would like to improve their performance on stage. But how? In my career I have been taught the following acting techniques and used them before taking the stage. And I have found during my client sessions that they are just as applicable to any speaking performance that we do in real life. Whether it is a presentation for a business proposal, a wedding speech or a goodbye speech for one of your well respected colleagues.

 1. know what you want to say

As an actor you need to know your script. And knowing the script means that you need to know what you want to say, how you want to say it, and how you would like your audience to feel, and what action you would like them to take after they have heard you speak. Do the need to feel happy, sad, energized, inspired? And what do they need to do after you finish your presentation? Buy your service? Support your foundation? You need to think about this before you go on stage. But what if you just do not have the time to prepare for hours? If you do not have the time you have 2 options. The first option is to politely decline the speaking opportunity, or the second (mostly preferred) option is to quickly go through the process in your head and ask yourself the following questions:

  • What is the one sentence I would like them to remember? 
  • What action would you like them to take after the performance?
  • How do they need to feel and what do they need to know?

2. Relax

This is what happens when you are put in front of a room full of audience or a camera. Your muscles tighten up, you feel your legs are cramping or your throat is choking. All these are signs that you are not relaxed.  Every new actor has struggle to stay relaxed.

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.” - Mark Twain

The Stanislavski acting techniques are designed to help an actor stay relaxed. Stanislavski believed that in order to stay relaxed actor must direct their attention completely on the task in the given scene. Because it is impossible to completely remove the muscular tension. If you try to relax your legs, tension moves to your shoulders, and you shake it off your shoulders, it might go to your back. There will always be a struggle. But it is actors job to keep it under control and not allow it show it in his or her performance. It’s about transforming the tension and fear into energy and excitement. You can greatly decrease your anxiety with some relaxation techniques or some simple respiration exercises.

 3. Bring yourself

“You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.” - John Ford

Authenticity is key. As an actor and presenter you have to bring your self, your whole authentic self to the performance. Your authentic self includes the way you move your body, the way you speak, the way you interact with the audience. When I would plead a role of a person that was totally different from myself, I learned how to crawl under the skin of that new person. As a presenter that is not your role of course. But what you do need to do is think about the message you are bringing across and how your try authentic self would bring that message to friends, family and other people that you would feel totally comfortable with. Would you use that ‘story telling’ voice if you were trying to convince your friends? Of course not, it probably does not sound genuine at all! How would your body move when you would tell the story in a comfortable environment? How high or low would your voice be? How fast would you be speaking?  

And finally, take in the applause and confidentially walk off the stage. Be proud of yourself for being the real authentic you.

Enjoy the next performance and remember to smile :)


Happiness? Wake up!

Sitting on an airplane. Flight from Auckland to Singapore. Watching a movie, reading a magazine, eating some airplane food. And then… it hit me. Why? Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep ruining everything we have? We are all looking for happiness. For meaning in our lives. There is even a whole industry around happiness. Every book you see at the airport talks about how to be happy. And yet, we are not.

In the last couple of months I have had so many discussions with people how are doing something they do not like. They hate there jobs. Hate their wives. Hate life in general. And still, they do not make a change. Why? We see that all our consumerism is killing our planet. We completely lost touch with nature, but we do not change. Melissa Etheridge was singing it a long time ago “Have I been sleeping?” Were the first words of her song which was featured in Al Gore’s inconvenient truth. It feels as if we are all sleeping.

 

 

I am sleeping. It took me 25 years to step away from an unhappy marriage. 25 years! And knowing that the average life span is approximately 75-80 years, 25 years is pretty significant! Why did I not make a change? Fear. The only thing I can think of. Fear of other people’s opinions. Fear of not having money. Fear of losing status. Fear, fear, fear. At the end it comes down to fear of dying.

The interesting thing about dying is that it is going to happen, no matter what. I can postpone it by incredible medical progress. By a good diet and exercise. But it is still going to happen. So why am I so afraid? I have seen the words a lot. We only start living when we die. I never knew what to think of it. But now I understand. Embracing death is celebrating life!

I need to change. I need to wake up. Happiness and meaning are not in the things we do. How we look. What we have. Happiness and meaning can only be found in the moment we are currently in. Until we die.